REST UP, YA WEE BAWBAG
30
"30 seconds. Don't get comfortable."
WORKOUT
⚠️
CONTENT WARNING
THIS APP
WILL SWEAR
AT YOU.
F*CK IT Fitness contains strong language, brutal honesty, and absolutely zero sympathy.

This app will call you out. It will tell you when you're being lazy. It will use language that would make your gran blush.

If you need someone to tell you "you're amazing just for showing up" — this is not that app.

This is the app that tells you the truth. And sometimes the truth sounds like a Scottish drill sergeant who skipped their morning coffee.
By continuing you confirm you are 18+, you understand this app uses strong language for motivational purposes, and you have a sense of humour. No actual drill sergeants were harmed in the making of this app.

* The flower arranging button is not a joke. We will actually send you there.
💀
Welcome to
F*CK IT
FITNESS
The fitness app that doesn't sugarcoat it.

No fluff. No participation trophies. Just brutal workouts, savage voice coaching, and results — if you can handle it.
🏷️
Step 1 of 3
WHAT DO
WE CALL YOU?
Your name. So we know who to shout at.
Step 2 of 3
HOW UNFIT
ARE YOU?
Be honest. Nobody's watching. Yet.
🟢
BEGINNER
Haven't exercised since school. That's fine. We'll fix that.
🟠
INTERMEDIATE
Fairly active. Think you can handle it. Let's find out.
🔴
ADVANCED
You train regularly. Good. We'll still break you.
Step 3 of 3
PICK YOUR
ABUSER
Who gets to shout at you? Choose wisely.
🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
SCOTTISH SERGEANT
"Away and get tae f*ck with those half reps, ya tube."
EL KEY
👩‍💪
FEMALE DRILL SERGEANT
"Don't you dare slow down. I will know."
EL KEY
📱
DEVICE VOICE
Uses your phone's built-in voice. Robotic but works instantly.
FREE
🔥
YOU'RE
READY.
GOD HELP YOU.
Time to find out what you're actually made of.

Your coach is warmed up. Your excuses have been noted and rejected.
Welcome back,
WARRIOR
🔥 7
DAY STREAK
4
Workouts
3h 12m
Suffered
1,840
Cal Burned
WORKOUT OF THE DAY
TODAY
BEGINNER BLAST
BRUTAL 15 MIN HIIT NO EQUIPMENT
QUICK PICK
BEGINNER 15
Start here, rookie
INTER 30
You ready though?
ADV 35
Absolute carnage
JUST GO
No video, full abuse
MORE
VIDEO LIBRARY
Pick your level. Pick your poison.
Exercise 1 of 6
Exercise 1
BURPEES (Satan's Favourite)
15
REPS
"Get off your arse. We're starting."
Voice coach ready
NEXT: JUMP SQUATS × 20
EAT LIKE
YOU MEAN IT
F*CK IT nutrition — no calorie counting, no bullsh*t
THE ONLY NUTRITION GUIDE YOU'LL EVER NEED
We're not going to give you a 47-page meal plan you'll ignore. Here are the actual rules. Follow them and stop overthinking it.
The Rules
1
EAT REAL FOOD
If it came out of a factory and has 40 ingredients, put it back. Meat, fish, eggs, veg, fruit, rice, potatoes. That's your list. Done.
2
PROTEIN WITH EVERY MEAL
Chicken, beef, fish, eggs, Greek yogurt. Every. Single. Meal. Without it you're just doing the workouts for nothing. Don't waste your effort.
3
DRINK WATER. ACTUAL WATER.
Not Coke. Not juice. Not "sparkling water with natural flavours" which is just fancy Coke. Water. 2-3 litres a day. You'll feel like a different human being.
4
STOP EATING WHEN YOU'RE FULL
Revolutionary concept, we know. Your plate isn't a challenge. You don't get a medal for clearing it. Eat slowly, stop when full. That's it.
5
THE 80/20 RULE
Eat well 80% of the time. The other 20%? Live your life. Have the pizza. Have the pint. Just don't make it your entire personality.
Rough Daily Targets
~2g
Protein per kg bodyweight
3L
Water minimum daily
7-9h
Sleep — yes, it counts
3-4
Meals a day, no more
F*CK IT Verdict on Popular Foods
CHICKEN & RICE
EAT IT
EGGS
EAT IT
SWEET POTATO
EAT IT
PROTEIN SHAKE
EAT IT
PIZZA (sometimes)
SOMETIMES
ALCOHOL
SOMETIMES
ENERGY DRINKS
DITCH IT
TAKEAWAY (daily)
DITCH IT
FIZZY DRINKS
DITCH IT
DIET CULTURE NONSENSE
DITCH IT
THE DIARY
Your suffering, documented
This Week
MON🔥
TUE🔥
WED🔥
THU—
FRI●
SAT—
SUN—
Recent
Wednesday, April 9
BEGINNER BLAST — COMPLETED
The coach called me a "magnificent disappointment" at rep 12. She wasn't wrong. Arms: deceased.
15mDuration
210Cal
6/6Done
Tuesday, April 8
CORE STARTER — SURVIVED
Planks are legally torture. My abs filed a formal complaint. Still worth it.
15mDuration
195Cal
6/6Done
Stop being a free loader
GO ALL
IN.
Unlock the full brutal experience
Pick Your Plan
MONTHLY
£3.99
per month
Cancel any time. No commitment. Just results — if you actually show up.
What You Get
🎬
Full Video Library27 workout videos across all levels — beginner, intermediate, advanced. New sessions added every month.
🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
Scottish Drill Sergeant VoiceThe full ElevenLabs voice coaching experience. Real voice. Real abuse. Real results.
📊
Progress TrackingStreaks, personal bests, workout history. Watch yourself get less terrible over time.
🥩
Full Nutrition GuideMeal plans, shopping lists, the F*CK IT eating philosophy. Stop eating like a toddler.
📤
Share Your ResultsGenerate brutal completion cards to post on social. Let your mates know you didn't quit.
😤
Shame ModeSkip a session? We'll let you know about it. Repeatedly. With enthusiasm.
Cancel any time. No hidden fees. No bullsh*t. Just fitness.
Prices include VAT where applicable.
WR
WARRIOR
🔥 RANK: CERTIFIED ANIMAL
🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Coach: Scottish Sergeant
All Time
47
Workouts
38h
Sweating
18.4k
Cal Burned
Voice Coach
🎙 ElevenLabs FREE TIER WORKS
Add your key above to activate voice coaching.
Settings
🔊 Voice Coach
💀 Abuse LevelFULL SEND
😤 Shame Mode
⏱ Rest Timer30 seconds
⭐ SubscriptionFREE TIER